I drove home from the party without the radio on. I was enjoying the silence and lost in my thoughts of mundane things; like what I needed from the grocery store, my “to-do” list for the following day, and exactly how many calories were in the bacon-wrapped date I had eaten earlier. Times seven.
I had been at a dinner party where I wasn’t well known, and while I enjoyed the evening very much, I left still unsure about where I fit into the group.
For me, those thoughts about the grocery list and those bacon-wrapped dates on the drive home was nothing short of monumental. Here’s why. Typically, when I am unsure of the impression I have made on others, I dwell on things I did or said that were, in my critical mind, awkward or weird.
Then I tell myself that I am a social moron.
Then I swear off dinner parties.
Then I declare that I am alone in this world.
Then I go home and eat ice cream.
That didn’t happen this time. I simply wondered if we needed milk.
It didn’t occur to me until later that my pattern of self-condemning thoughts has begun to change. Yes, I have been intentional about re-shaping my destructive self-talk, and yes, I have asked the Lord to transform me. But I didn’t think anything was actually happening. Until it did.
Our minds are being renewed at this very moment. Sometimes we don’t see it because change can be excruciatingly slow—like watching the change of leaves on a tree. Do we ever really see it happen before our eyes? No. But one day, we look up and trees that once bloomed with leaves of green are bathed in the warm colors of fall. Every so often, there comes an unexpected autumn—and we find that transformation is at hand, and that God is at work—even when we don’t see it coming.
P.S. There are 58 calories in 1 bacon wrapped date. Just in case you were wondering.
MELISSA MAIMONE brings encouragement to her audiences with a blend of insight, transparency, and theology. Affected by depression and anxiety from a young age, she shares with vulnerability (and plenty of humor!) that a hopeful, joyous life is possible no matter what your circumstance.