I finally got it. It happened when I read the following quote from Operation World:
“The ministry of the children of God is not doing, but praying. We need to trust in God who moves in the ears of even His most implacable enemies. We do not engage in ministry and pray for God’s blessing on it; prayer IS the ministry from which all other ministries must flow!”
Do you have a prayer team that lifts you up in prayer before each speaking event? I didn’t. I had random people praying for me each time–mostly family members who knew what I was doing, but not a set team of fervent prayer warriors who would pray before, during and after a presentation. Who would pray for the unhindered work of the Holy Spirit in my words and in the hearts of the hearers, and for eternal results from presenting the Gospel.
I formed such a team, asking people I knew who loved God and believed in the power of prayer if they would be willing to be a part of my prayer group. I have 59 people who I email every single time I speak now, and afterwards I send them a report on the event and what happened. I also attach photos.
And guess what? You cannot believe how the Holy Spirit shows up and performs miracles beyond what we can ask or imagine. Even on those times when I have no voice, or am struggling with vertigo, or where Satan attacks my confidence. I have so come to recognize the truth in what it says in Luke 21:13-15:
“And so you will bear testimony to me. But make up your mind not to worry beforehand how you will defend yourselves. For I will give you words and wisdom that none of your adversaries will be able to resist or contradict.
I honestly have gotten to the point where I would not speak if I did not have the prayer backing. Asking my team for prayer is the most important part of preparation for any speaking. And when I hand my phone camera to the client and ask if someone can take photos for my prayer team that is lifting their event up before the throne of God that very minute, she BEAMS with joy and agreement. I also let them know ahead of time in my communication with them that prayer is ongoing for the time together.
“The greatest unused resource in the world today is the power of prayer.” Billy Graham
“A neglect of prayer is a denial of the Lord’s leadership and a willful limitation of success.” Robert Speer, Missionary Principles and Practice